If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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