I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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