Got a toothbrush?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
