i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
