Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
