Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
