I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
