I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
