I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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