If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
