i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize