I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
