well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
