GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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