How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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