Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
