Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
