where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
