dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
