There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize