When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
