Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize