Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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