He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize