I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
