What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
