i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
