Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
