does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
