so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
