the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
