shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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