I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
