i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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