nut hugger
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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