Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
