He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
