If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
