you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
