If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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