I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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