I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
