The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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