I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
