these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He passed out mid-signature
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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