Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
