I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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