I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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