I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
