Porn is love you can see.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
