So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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