her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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