At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Who died my cat blue again?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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