Define "chronic" masturbator.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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