Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
