Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I am one with the molecules
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
