remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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