he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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