Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
