i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
