Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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